Lesson #08 Convention Blunders
Written By Titmowse

Who doesn’t make mistakes? Who hasn’t said something they regret? Who has never been the fool? Whoever that is, they’re probably pretty dull. Fact is we’re in a very abnormal business. We’re all an insult to polite society. Just being an adult webmaster means you’re an affront to the sensibilities of delicate people.

That being said, your profession is not an excuse to be an ass. Adult webmaster conventions are fun, freeing and help facilitate your future. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of rebel spirit that permeates our industry. It’s easy to assume too much about what’s allowed and what is not. One faux pox committed in the physical presence of your peers can haunt you far longer than would such a move on a virtual message board. You might be in the sex business but don’t forget the business part.

Cozy Academy understands you are an adult. We are not in the nanny business. The finer points of etiquette are your concern. We know you are aware of the consequences of boorish or violent behavior. We are well aware you understand your actions are your own. This lesson is not design to preach or proselytize. Whatever you do, it is not in our power to condemn you to hell. This lesson is a word of caution about a consequence you may not have considered: Permanence.

Say you got drunk at an adult webmaster party. First, you threw up on the host’s shoes. Then you pulled your pants down and peed in the punchbowl. You finished the evening by passing out in the bathtub with a dildo in your hand. Typical Saturday night right? Now think about when you were sober. Remember all those webmasters with digital cameras? Tabloid paparazzi have nothing on adult webmasters. Within hours, your little adventure could be spread across our worldwide community complete with banners and fan pages. Galleries of your escapade will linked to for months, even years. Just the story of your peccadillo will warrant the topics of threads to come. These are the wondrous days where no skeleton is hidden. Actions have a permanence they never had before.

So, although we don’t mean to lecture, we do want to remind you of some lines you shouldn’t cross.

Hands off the content

They don’t let you just go up and grab the dancers at a strip bar. You have to follow the procedure. If you see a hot model on the show floor at Internext, don’t automatically assume she’s gonna let you pull up her shirt and grab her boobs. The fact is these women are paid to show their boobs. In essence, your shirt-grab would be comparable to shoplifting. If you ask nicely or are invited, then grab away. The point is to ask first.

Give the Players Some Slack

To you, the big porn moguls might seem like supermen. They’re not. They’re humans who can only take so much bitching and pitching. They want to hear the voices of their affiliates/clients but they also want to have fun. Sure you have something to say but so do a hundred other webmasters. If you have a serious proposal, ask them out for a drink or to lunch and be up front about your intentions. Don’t corner some poor content producer or design guru on the show floor. Your sponsor’s life is their own and doesn’t center on you and your needs.

Remember the Law

We dance on the edge but we needn’t jump off into the abyss. Let other fools bring illegal drugs and underage companions along. Let them get arrested for public intoxication or rowdiness. You are smarter than that. You’re not going to try to smuggle weapons in your suitcase or sneak some joints into your duffel bag. You’re not going to get caught trying to film upskirt video on the casino floor because you are better than that. Don’t be the idiot who got the 16 year-old girl drunk. Nobody loses friends faster than the guy up against the wall with the handcuffs on.

From huge events to intimate gatherings at the bar, somebody went to a lot of trouble to show you a good time and maybe help you out a little. Pay them back by being a model attendee. Enjoy yourself. Learn something. Stay sober enough to remember what went on. Don’t be a pest and shake some hands.