Be Special!
  Written By Titmowse

Shut up and pay attention!

Sorry my sweet froggers but Professor Titmowse is tired. I’ve been helping newbie adult webmasters for over two years now. That means I’ve been answering some of the same questions over and over and over again. I don’t mind the repetitive queries so much. What bugs me more is the newbie adult webmaster who refuses to accept advice or criticism.

Cozy has a message board, Cozy Campus. I am the moderator and I run a fair, friendly place. We don’t bash newbies. We don’t pay for posts or make members whore for schwag. We offer an easy place where no question is silly and everyone gets respect. Most of the time the Campus runs smoothly. Problems get solved. Knowledge is shared. Associations are made. But once in a while, Campus gets a newbie who just won’t listen.

I’m telling you newbie; I’ve seen you before at least a hundred times. I’ve seen your attitude. I’ve seen your plan/not plan to take over the Internet. Don’t tell me bout your l33t skillz. Don’t bore me with your bankroll or your posse of partners. I know you already. You are what your are. You’re a newb.

I know you because I was you. Everyone was a newbie once. We all arrived clueless to this thing. It doesn’t matter what you did before. Internet porn is a business like no other. Even big-deal pros from the porn print /film camp found out that selling web smut ain’t easy. All adult webmasters discover that no matter what they know, they don’t know enough. There are sales methods; designs and principles that work for the web that can’t be learned anywhere else. The only folks who can show you how it’s done are other adult webmasters. They don’t teach this shit in college.

I’m no hater. I’m no dream killer. That’s not what this is about. This is about knowing who you are and how you fit in. No one is asking you to change your values. Nobody is telling you to give it up and pack it in. We love newbies. That’s why there is a Cozy Frog, Cozy Academy and Cozy Campus. Our whole purpose is to create a place where novices are treated with compassion. You won’t find a mean-spirited atmosphere on Campus. We make sure nobody laughs at you or calls you names. The members on our message board come from all levels in the adult Internet. They give good advice and they give it for free. There’s been the occasional comment from a regular that might be considered harsh. But even cock holstering keyboard warriors are told to cool that crap when they’re on Campus.

That’s why it pains me if I see a newbie get all pissy when they receive constructive criticism on the Campus. You post for opinions of your new porn site. Or your first topic is titled: I Have a Million-Dollar Idea! Or you want know where to make the fast money. Then we give you honest answers. We reply that your new site needs some work. Or we tell you your million-dollar idea isn’t realistic. Or we let you know there is no fast money to be had. And you in turn, get pissy.

Hey, I’m not asking newbies to be blind. Not every veteran adult webmaster is a genius. Some of the advice they offer will never help you. One or two bad guys really are out to exploit your innocence and steal your money. You should always take message board wisdom with a grain of salt. Still, our forum ­like many forums- is comprised of people who are making money by selling adult entertainment on the web. We know the stuff that makes you the dough. You don’t have to take our advice but for fuck’s sake, don’t be a baby.

If your first stop in adult webmasterland is Cozy Campus, you’re a pretty lucky newbie. We’re nice guys. There are forums in this biz where they eat newbies alive. Ask a newbie question at some places and see how cruel things really are. Post for a critique of your new site and you’ll receive a litany of smart-ass one-liners. Profess your brilliance and be prepared to get your cyber ass kicked. Adult webmasters can be fierce with a thankless newbie. At Cozy Campus you’re not going to get flamed for being an innocent.

It’s simple. Ask anything you want and expect to get what you asked for. If you want criticism, then understand the difference between a critique and an insult. If you want honesty, don’t cry at the truth. If you want to make money, listen up!