TOS or SOL!
  Written By Titmowse

I love you all. I want you to succeed. I want you to get filthy, stinking rich so you can support Titmowse in her old age. That's why it hurts me when you do things I know I've told you not to. I nag and nag and nag but you do them anyway.

Don't make me slap you!

Look, just because the font is tiny and just because most of them are pretty much the same and just because you think you're a big, fat genius doesn't mean you should skip the time it takes to read the Terms Of Service. When you enter an agreement with anyone -no matter who they are- you have got to be informed about the conditions of that agreement before you agree. The companies and webmasters with whom you make these agreements don't post TOS pages just for grins.

Sure, most TOS pages look similar. No spamming. No illegal content. No cheating. Nevertheless, each sponsor, host and content provider has their own idea of what is and what is not a violation of their Terms Of Service.

For example, one sponsor will state in their TOS that they will charge you a processing fee for each check they pay out to your affiliate account. Another will forbid affiliates from countries like Albania, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Brazil, Bulgaria, China, Costa Rica, Croatia, Czech Republic, Estonia, Georgia, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Israel, Japan, Jordan, Kaliningrad, Kazakhstan, North Korea, South Korea, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Malaysia, Moldova, Pakistan, Philippines, Romania, Russia, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, Syria, Taiwan, Tajikistan, Thailand, Turkey, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Uzbekistan, and Yugoslavia.

Yet another sponsor will declare: "There will be no compensation for technical dysfunction should it result in downtime or other inconveniences. In the event of termination of this agreement advertisers will cease to use all content, banners, graphics and logos on their sites as all marketing tools are held under our copyright. Recurring revenues as a result of member reactivations will only be paid out to Partners while the Webmaster's account is active. In the event that a Webmasters account is closed for any of the reasons included in these Terms & Conditions the webmaster will cease to accumulate recurring revenues."

Sometimes the language is baffling.
" Except as set forth herein, none of the Content may be copied, reproduced, framed, modified, removed, sold, distributed, republished, downloaded, displayed, posted, transmitted, or otherwise exploited, in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, including, but not limited to, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior express written permission of (Content Provider)."

Then there are TOS pages where you can't tell if it's written for webmasters or for surfers:

"By accepting this agreement, I certify the following:

1. I am 18 years of age or older.

2. The sexually explicit material I am buying and/or viewing is for my own personal use and I will never expose minors to said material.

3. I am not a Postal official, or law enforcement agent, or acting as an agent thereof, attempting to obtain any evidence for the prosecution of any individual or corporation, or for the purpose of entrapment.

4. I desire to receive and haven't notified my national postal service, or any other governmental agency to intercept sexually explicit material.

5. I believe that, as an adult, I have the unalienable right to read and/or view any type of material that I choose and that the material and images contained in this website are not obscene or offensive in any way, nor could ever be construed to be obscene or offensive.

6. The viewing, reading, and downloading of the material and images in this website do not violate the community standards of my street, village, city, town, county, state, province, or country.

7. That I am wholly liable for any false disclosures and responsible for any legal ramifications that may arise from viewing, reading, or downloading of material and images contained within this website and that Web Works, and its affiliates cannot be held responsible for any legal ramifications that may arise as a result of fraudulent entry into, or use of, this website and/or material contain herein."

The point is, no matter how similar or dissimilar, no matter how trusted the source, no matter what read the TOS first!

If you are having trouble finding the Terms Of Service on a certain site, try looking on the page where the signup form resides. You can usually find a TOS link there. If you read a TOS and you're still unclear as to the rules, call the company in question and ask them your questions. Know the terms before you accept the service.

Know the TOS!

I want you to be a smart adult webmaster. I want you to make informed decisions. I hate it when you're upset. So, do me a favor. Read the TOS for old Titmowse. Don't make me write an article like this again.